were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
We just saw a waitress walk by with a tray of bacardi and whipped cream.
Whoever ordered that deserves a pat on the back and the "classiest customer" award
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
Writing a love song to planned parenthood. what rhymes with "don't have AIDS"
Ummm so I just found the baby pumpkin that was on my porch last night in Village Pizza this morning on their counter. The cashier said some drunk girl came in and told him it was a present.
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
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