It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
I'm gonna go drown myself in the shower. Make sure to cover me up before the paramedics arrive. I'm too fat to be seen naked right now.
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
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