after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
Anyone would get lost in that field after that much vodka. Trust me... I kind of feel like superman considering I even made it home. Most people would've been face down in a random oilfield. Not this guy.
Randomize
