I'm lost and stupid without you.
im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
Randomize
