Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
He left me a five minute voicemail apologizing for chasing me with a meat beater. I'm actually not sure what that means.
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
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