i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
Muscle is literally tearing itself off of my shins. No I am not going on another bar crawl with you.
I'll pay?
Pick me up at 9.
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
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