is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
WHO JUST REMOVED THAT SAME BOARD IN TWO MINUTES FLAT WITH NO INJURIES, SHOES, SOCKS, OR BRA?! THIS BITCH. CRACKIN A BEER FOR DA SHOWA. BITCHES AIN'T SHIT MOTHAFUCKA
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
I party with great urgency now.
Randomize
