Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
when I forget a girls name in bed I ask her her middle name then tell her i'm gonna call her that from now on
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
So my mom wants me to come swim with dolphins with my little sisters in October. I'm not sure how to tell her I saw a "when dolphins attack" special when I was rolling and am now terrified of them.
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
I didn't notice because vodka
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
Randomize
