so let's talk penis.
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
I poured everyones drinks into the ice bucket and then stuck my face in it. Apparently I'm a greedy drunk.
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
She just left someone a voicemail saying 'you better not have plans Saturday night, cause I'm going to sit on your face.'
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
Just got offered cocaine at ihop. Stay classy America.
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
Randomize
