She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
I'm going to write a new song and call it "Did I wax my vagina for this?" remind me to never go across the country for a penis ever again.
Just try not to have a boner when you're giving your best man speech, it will really kill the vibe
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
Woke up with a lip tattoo that says "fake news" in case you're wondering about my wellbeing
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
Randomize
