I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
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