I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
I tried to walk home in my heels. And I fell into a snow bank. And then I cried and a policeman came up to me and said I can't sit in a snowbank and got me a cab. So maybe that's where I left my credit card. I remember the cop asking me if I was old enough to drink, too. OMG. How embarrassing. Pretty sure I told him to "leave me alone."
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
I'm literally trapped as the little spoon on a mattress on the floor of an unfinished basement with a professional athlete snoring in my hair
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
Randomize
