found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
someone threw a dead crab at me
i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
Best. Handjob. Ever.
I'm guessing Kelly is over?
Nope. Home alone.
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
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