ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
A drunk hobo just gave me a fist bump. Because I know what a womb is.
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
Randomize
