(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
I need to be more functional. That doesn't mean I'm going to drink less, I just need to wake up and shit
I snapchatted him 4 pictures of me as Tarzan's dad so if he never talks to me again at least we'll know why
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
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