I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
Damn victory sex feels great
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
How is it that I know 4 different bartenders who won't charge me for drinks, but I can't get laid?
Randomize
