Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
My mom is wine drunk and on painkillers. As invigorating as that conversation was, it was also a dark glimpse into my future
Taco trucks are like ice cream trucks for drunk adults. They should have a mariachi tune they play super loud to bring people out of the bars for tacos.
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Randomize
