party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
Just told the nurse I wouldn't get on the scale. Told her to write FAT.
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
Some older looking guy gave me his card as he exited the train. Hes a pharmaceutical rep. I'm debating asking him for a job. Obv he wants sex but if I can get a job out of this maybe I can offer him more than a cheap dry handjob bc that's all I'm really up for these days
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
I just want to sit in my tub, drugged out of my mind, and watch the green lantern cartoon while the world as we know it ceases to exist outside my bathroom door, Okay? Is that REALLY too much to ask?
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
Randomize
