it only takes four glasses of wine for me to ride an elephant with a stranger.
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
my mom just found my flavored lube in the basement. she gave me a lecture about how "giving head is degrading" omg i feel sooooo bad for my dad
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
She's just so happy...and so naked.
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
Got pulled over today for going 90 in a 40 zone with my leg out of the window. Still got out of the ticket. I'm getting way too good at this. Wanna trade bodies so we can see if it's my boobs or my charm?
Randomize
