Don't make out with my wife yet
Grow some girl-balls and come out already
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
Pre warning. Your not gonna sleep tonight cuz I'm staying with your roommate. Thanks for breaking up with me.
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
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