Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
You ended at least 6 stories with "and that's why I don't snort coke anymore"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
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