He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread you can knock them unconscious?
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
Dude, fuck these noisy kids, fuck all this light, and fuck you for getting to sleep while I have to be productive and hungover.
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