Pregnant stripper...not hot.
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
God, you're like boner-b-gone
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
My worst case scenario tonight is that I fuck a hot Swiss girl. Let that give you perspective on my life at the moment.
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
Randomize
