I used a bag of wine as a pillow last night.
you left a giant bottle of vodka in my room from last night. does this serve as a parting gift or hush money?
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
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