I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
I don't know what else is in your wedding gift, but I just pulled out a pair of handcuffs in front of her grandmother.
Also a whip and a blindfold. Don't be a bitch, enjoy it!
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
Randomize
