Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
Currently cooking 3lbs of bacon in case the power goes out bc if even one slice of bacon goes to waste then sandy wins
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
Randomize
