She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
Randomize
