...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
I'm drunk, laying in bed, eating macaroni salad. I dropped a piece and tried to pick it up with a fork. My cleavage is bleeding and I haven't been laid yet. Heeeyyyy!!!
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
IM AT A ROOFTOP FUNDRAISER LOOKING OVER THE WHITE HOUSE I WILL NOT RUIN MYSELF
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
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