I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
So i banged this chick from Peru last night. Needless to say, I'm having chipotle for lunch todayas a south American reward to honor her.
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
I got the shit slapped outta me last night but the pain in my jaw doesn’t even compare to the hangover I have.
Randomize