I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
tequila makes me forget i have legs
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
Some drunk guy thought my knee scooter was the sexiest thing he's ever seen. He then proceeded to ask me about duck hunting and decoys...
Taco trucks are like ice cream trucks for drunk adults. They should have a mariachi tune they play super loud to bring people out of the bars for tacos.
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
Aw. You're having cute FaceTime with your fiance, I'm trying to convince myself not to booty call a 42 year old. #adulting
Randomize
