Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
I feel like if your cat could talk she would call me a cunt.
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
I woke up with a Nike swoosh shaved into my chest hair. my friend got 3 stitches. my phone had a text that simply read "fuck you". I say it was a good party.
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
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