I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
Got drunk and tried to deep fry burritos. Turns out wild turkey isn't a good replacement for vegetable oil. Nearly burned my house down.
Sober people should be as daring as drunk people more often, because honestly the fact you’ve lived so long is a sign that anything is possible.
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
Did you put pizza in my boxers last night?
I left you 4 hours ago. Have you been walking around with shit in your pants all day?
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
she filled my toilet with birdseed... i tried flushing it but now it's clogged so she has to come over and fix it because it was her mistake in the first place
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