I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
I'm doing a half mile walk of shame carrying a trash bag and still very drunk. Save me. I feel like a refugee.
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
The moment when you go to plug in someone else's phone in your car and your lube is in the way. Don't mind that it's just my center console car lube. Normal.
I licked your asshole in confidence.
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
Randomize
