I just mixed tequila and nyquil in front of dad. hes making ambulance jokes but let me tell you its DELICIOUSSS
My 40 year old neighbors are throwing a party for their eight year old niece's birthday. It's 1am and they're still partying hard. Harder than me. It's Saturday. Just say it, I'm a disgrace to the generation.
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
pssssst. you dropped everyone else off and forgot about me. im in the backseat of your car still. can you please come back outside and either let me out or take me home?
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
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