Just fell off a train. Bad.
Flying into Chicago for a few days, getting re-deployed in September, we should probably fuck
Kristina got the same text from you just now, she's sitting next to me, how many people did you send this to?
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
Saw two pregnant women at court today and I SWEAR one of them said "we had a threesome with this random guy and he got both of us pregnant."
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
Randomize
