I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
And on the way out from Applebee's he tried to take the basket of toothpicks claiming he was using them as a tax write off. Last time I babysit my dad on thirsty Thursday.
Randomize
