I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
I would like to remind you that Mike's hard lemonade only goes good with an extra light cigarette and seminal fluid.
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
I was arrested last night for attempting to flee and elude. I wasn't really trying to run from the police. I was drunk and lost in the woods. I thought it was pretty obvious when I was waving at them from my puddle of puke that I wasn't really hiding.
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
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