I'm not unpopping my collar. This shirt is too expensive to crease.
What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
You know how hard it is to jerk off in a bathtub with a dog staring at you?
I feel like as your wife, as cool with your decision-making skills as I usually am, there should be a bigger explanation to you adopting a child while I'm in Houston.
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
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