We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
he fucked my hip out of place.
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
Police were closing down the bar due to gunfight and I was crying because they wouldn't let me finish putting temporary shamrock tats on my boobs
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
I'm looking forward to the release of my future best seller - "Three Words to Make Your Relationship 100% Better: Surprise Blow Jobs"
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
do you remember showing me a picture of your husbands penis last night?
yea! the mushroom one. i would only show you.
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
Randomize
