What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
It was like giving head to a cactus.
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
Randomize
