No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
Why is our fridge full of girl scout cookies and rum?
You told me to go grocery shopping.
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
Randomize
