Well douche your snatch and let's go!
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
Walked into the bar with my burrito and ordered a round of shots for everyone. Not sure if I want to look at the credit card statement.
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
Think i may just have managed the saddest high-five in history. Finished a sudoku and high-fived myself, then looked around for somebody to high five. there was noone. forever alone.
Randomize
