I woke up this morning under my fitted sheet and my legs through the sleeves of my sweater.
then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
Randomize
