I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
I had a long pep-talk with my penis that ended in "I love you, I'll try harder and I'm sorry."
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
i wish i could tell you the night didnt begin with me drinking alone
Just found out I reached my $2500 deductible and I have a $5 million dollar cap on my health insurance. Let's get drunk and do something recklessly stupid tonight.
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
The only thing I want for my birthday is a divorce from you.
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