Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
Remind me to tell you the one about the cashier that wouldn't sell me Jim Beam and NyQuil.
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I figured working in my office on the 34th floor I'd be safe railing xanax off my desk. Of course, I snort it just in time for the window washer guy to give me a thumbs up.
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
My boss spotted an injured PIGEON outside the front door this morning (at 3:30am) and requested that I catch it and take it to the vet. Catch it with what! Take it where!These requests have gone too far...
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
Randomize