It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
Seriously. I'm like, "Wait, we are actually talking about physics in the middle of sex and its ACTUALLY erotic because you're so fucking intelligent I'm turned on?"
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
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