On my way home i need to take a massive dump and couldn't wait.
I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
Randomize
