i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
Thanks for FaceTime'ing with that ugly chick last night while me and her friend were in the other room. it's good to know I can still count on my wingman even when we're 2000 miles apart
I wish the inside of the tampon box said "CONGRATULATIONS YOUR NOT A MOTHER!"
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We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
TO ALL WHO WERE IN MY HOUSE LAST NIGHT: WHOEVER STOLE MY BONG AND PUT IT ON THE ROOF WILL BE PAYING MY HOSPITAL BILL FROM LAST NIGHT.. AND BUYING ME A NEW, SWEETER BONG.
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
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It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
She's like a cask of Amontillado. Very tempting if I was drunk, but sober, I know I'll get fucked over in the end.
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