I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
Do you ever close your eyes when your having sex with your girlfriend and pretend she didn't get fat after high school?
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
I can't make this stuff up. Your ex is singing I Will Survive on the karaoke.
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
A homeless man just asked me if I had seen any "nekkid chicks with heineken bottles run by"
Berkeley was the right choice
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
Randomize
