Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
I only knew it was midnight because i got happy new years texts while i puked outside
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
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