is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
no i'm going to the dr today, he fucking banshee-shrieked in my ear as he was coming and now i can't hear out of it
Randomize
