the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
Talk shit all you want but with my new knife sharpener I have a lethal razor sharp pizza cutter. Fuck with me Mario I dare you!
Randomize
