you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
The 19 Strangest Things People Use To Get Off
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
You probably don't remember this but last night I bought you a lap dance from a stripper that had nipples that looked like runny eggs....you're welcome.
These 25 Normal Couples Tried Porn Moves During Sex And It Ended Horribly
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
Walking out of our apartment this morning to go to class, I saw a sticky note on the front door that said "get tested." The door was unlocked so did you bring some stranger back last night? I'm assuming you weren't referring to me...
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*