Texts From Last Night

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  (401): View more from Rhode Island

  Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.

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  (401): Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon. http://tfl.nu/lhyu
  Replies (55) Good night (3858) Bad night (827)
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  (415): View more from California

  I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone

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  (415): I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone http://tfl.nu/hnp6
  Replies (3) Good night (661) Bad night (2747)
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  (949): View more from California

  Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.

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  (949): Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less. http://tfl.nu/ezlm
  Replies (15) Good night (1901) Bad night (3857)
• Favorite

  (404): View more from Georgia

  They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.

  (618): View more from Illinois

  Disappointment?

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  (404): They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces. (618): Disappointment? http://tfl.nu/lu72
  Replies (11) Good night (1536) Bad night (4182)
• Favorite

  (516): View more from New York

  Someone left a beer in front of your door...there's a note with it that says "peace offering"

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  (516): Someone left a beer in front of your door...there's a note with it that says "peace offering" http://tfl.nu/dwjq
  Replies (8) Good night (5524) Bad night (896)
• Favorite

  (267): View more from Pennsylvania

  Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.

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  (267): Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams. http://tfl.nu/lmv8
  Replies (21) Good night (4631) Bad night (1275)
• Favorite

  (334): View more from Alabama

  I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.

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  (334): I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call. http://tfl.nu/huax
  Replies (3) Good night (1437) Bad night (2320)
• Favorite

  (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form

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  (412): i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form http://tfl.nu/n72m
  Replies (17) Good night (2217) Bad night (998)
• Favorite

  (860): View more from Connecticut

  my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile

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  (860): my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile http://tfl.nu/1qzw
  Replies (5) Good night (809) Bad night (1673)
• Favorite

  (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.

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  (610): Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey. http://tfl.nu/1z5r
  Replies (5) Good night (1743) Bad night (658)
• Favorite

  (315): View more from New York

  Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check

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  (315): Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check http://tfl.nu/umxm
  Replies (7) Good night (963) Bad night (503)
• Favorite

  (+45): View more from Denmark

  I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned

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  (+45): I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned http://tfl.nu/8ezp
  Replies (6) Good night (971) Bad night (571)
• Favorite

  (276): View more from Virginia

  I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.

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  (276): I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control. http://tfl.nu/jas4
  Replies (4) Good night (753) Bad night (505)
• Favorite

  (908): View more from New Jersey

  I'm getting offered Candy Crush lives in return for sex. Like wtf.

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  (908): I'm getting offered Candy Crush lives in return for sex. Like wtf. http://tfl.nu/lxfv
  Replies (2) Good night (651) Bad night (482)
• Favorite

  (310): View more from California

  one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.

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  (310): one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat. http://tfl.nu/07jo
  Replies (0) Good night (872) Bad night (283)

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