Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
21 Horribly Evil Pranks To Play On Your Drunk Friends
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
29 Times Beach Sex Ended With Sand In All The Wrong Places
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
I was sat at the table waiting with a glass of wine reading my book and the hotel staff gave me a goldfish in a bowl and said 'heres your date for the night' !
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.