I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
I just tried to light a cigarette with a tube of lipstick. If I had stayed in girl scouts maybe I could've made that happen.
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
I'm confused about why you felt the need to ask me to buy you life alert for christmas at 3:28 this morning.
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
fact: I now appreciate my drunken winter self even more. I just found $20 in my winter coat with a note that says keep yourself warm next winter. I am awesome.
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
Omg I'm having dinner at chilli's with a guy who is arguing that getting a weed leaf tatoo on his neck will prevent him from getting a job as a dental assistant
Well that actually sounds reasonable
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