Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
hey, can i borrow that thing you never use?
what?
your penis
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
I looked at you and you stared at me dead in the eyes then sprayed febreze at your crotch and winked.
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
So I passed out with my boxers on in the hotel jacuzzi at 5am.. The manager who kicked me out was pretty cute so I left my name and number for her at the front desk. I'm giving it a 50/50 she calls.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
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