Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
I stole us four large rolls of toilet paper from the hotel carts. I feel like the breadwinner in this relationship
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
just licked whipped cream off some model's nipple... just coming clean for when the pic gets on instagram because i am not untagging that shit
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
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