It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
That penis you're staring at is the penis of heartbreak. Stay away. It will break your heart AND keep you away from other penises. BACK. OFF. THE PENIS.
I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
Best part of having a window in your office is that you can leave through it when you shit your pants at work.
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
Doing bumps while the kids play upstairs. #bestnannyever
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
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