I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
party started at 10. cops are coming to shut us down now and its 11. i already lostmy underwear and im wearing a sparkly thong on my haed. this has to be some kinda record.
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
i think the title to my autobiography shall be, "a bottle of vodka and various pieces of meat"
and this is why you're my favorite gay friend.
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
I think we r still a few steps from ex sex. In fact, that's never going to happen. I'm just saying on the seething-chemical-fire-of-emotional-distress-to-post -relationship-intercourse scale, I'm closer to fucking than throttling. Progress is fun.
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
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