Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
I just found a bag of teeth...
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
Exact words that were just spoken as she was on her 6th, yes 6th piece of bread: "I'm only eating the soft and chewy inside of the bread-I am taking the crust home to feed my turtles"
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
Company meeting and there he was. Felt a little weird like 'last night you were telling me how your dick loves me, and now we're listening to a report on sales figures'.
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
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