: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
Have you ever wanted to murder the Sun? To bring the life-giving fusion reactor to a bitter end because of the sheer agony it brings to your eyes as it keeps you awake. And for waking the birds. Fuck birds.
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
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