I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
so, my congressman just called me to say he has office hours this week if i'm still interested in talking to him. i pray to god this is not related to Friday.
you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
I keep forgetting that I only have two nostrils.
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Randomize
