you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
I wish I could have two rating systems on iTunes. "This one is a 5 star. This one is only a 5 star when I'm baked."
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
I walked down to the adult beverage store and got two bottles of jim beam and s shooter of crwon black label because we didn't have any Tylenol
Fuck that must be a crazy sunburn.
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
I finally realized he drank way too much when he tried serenading me to the song "come my lady" while slowly and creepily making his way toward me...keeping constant eye contact.
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
Randomize
