There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
its not a holiday until ive ruined the family picture because im drunk
...oh my god that's like anal suicide
I'm aware. I'm writing the eulogy for my colon as we speak.
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
Company meeting and there he was. Felt a little weird like 'last night you were telling me how your dick loves me, and now we're listening to a report on sales figures'.
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
Randomize
