My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
I'm at about main and main street
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
I spent the entire party sexting people's significant others for them because they were too drunk to do it themselves. I did quite well too. I should start a business
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
So it turns out high me is very efficient. I set 5 alarms to remind me to do things, i made mac and cheese, and i wrote a poem. I'm going places.
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
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